Black Lipstick

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”

Luke 22:42

It all started with black lipstick.

I thought I was doing okay as a believer. I thought that my will was cooperating “enough” with The Most High’s Will.

So, why did I want to wear this black lipstick?

Okay, so it’s October.

It’s the “Spooky Month.” Halloween. Dress up. Candy.

And suffice it to say, when you play with evil, or evil-adjacent stuff, well, things go…awry.

And we get hurt and endangered in our lives.

But back to that black lipstick.

It was “safe,” right? It’s just makeup. I bought a tube of this stuff and was negotiating with The Most High about wearing it.

Me. The “Believer.” The Christian. The person who was living a life glorifying The Savior?

Huh, interesting approach then.

I had already gone a few rounds with The Most High about dressing up like the Bride of Frankenstein. I had the wig. I wanted to recreate Elsa Lanchester’s famous makeup face from the classic Universal horror film.

But I kept getting the “check engine light” within me that, “nope, no clearance.”

No fun (harmless?) dress up for me.

Throw the wig away, even?

(I did).

But my will, well, it likes to assert itself.

So, I regrouped my cute will, negotiating further, in prayer, asking, “Well, how about if I just wear the black lipstick, just that? That’s okay, right? That’s not too much. You know I love You. It’s just fun. Please, may I wear the black lipstick?”

Some uncomfortable and quiet moments followed…

“Check engine light” again.

Nope.

Will. Will power. HIS Will. A battle of wills. Willfulness. Willingness.

Nothing but Will for miles around here, huh?

I didn’t know it at the time, but this lipstick issue signaled a kickoff of spiritual upheaval/repentance for me that is still intensely happening now.

And what I have discovered is that my will needed some… uh… adjustment?

Tweaking? Correction? Submission?

It’s a bit embarrassing.

I am long in the tooth enough to not be this immature, right? I should have a spiritual grasp on things, so that I’m not prayerfully begging about lipstick that, let’s be real, portrays, and glorifies death, contrary to The Most High, the Salvation Work of the Cross of Yahshua, and of course, life, in general?

Years ago, I remember there was a line of makeup that had names of lipstick and nail polish like, “Decay” and “Gangrene.”

Pretty.

But that was the point, the “anti-pretty. The look of death.

If I investigated that makeup line further, I’m sure I could have come across some blush named “Infection,” or eyeshadow named “Oozing Sores.” Just make sure you utilize the lightest color in the palette kit on your browbone.

Colors, Cosmetics. Am I getting lost in the weeds here?

Not necessarily. These examples showcase how much our individual wills can veer towards death…and death-like things.

“This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.”

Deuteronomy 30:19

We choose, don’t we? We make thousands of choices each day. Some choices are little, like, do we sit on a certain chair?

Some are big, like…

 Do I ignore the Sovereign Creator, especially concerning the reality of my life?

Death…or Life?

What do we pick and choose?

Where is the black lipstick found, amid those choices?

Well, I have a theory based on my own ridiculousness.

It’s right next to arguing.

Again, I should know this is pointless.

But my will…

Nevertheless…

How is THAT for a word?

Nevertheless…HIS Will Power…

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.”

Proverbs 19:21

A battle of wills?

Really?

We think we stand a chance here?

We can get into our own versions of Thunder Domes and boxing rings all we want. Our will is no match for HIS.

It’s designed to be that way.

It’s for Protection. And it’s for Blessing.

Look, I don’t know what kind of calamity would have been attributed to me if I wore that lipstick, day in, day out. But, oh, I don’t know… maybe HE did?

I only wore that lipstick once.

And it should be noted that I wore this black cosmetic specifically before I prayed those numerous begging prayers about its usage.

My will, before HIS.

And that was the set off point of my spiritual upheaval… and blessing?

HE knew about that too.

Over time, I will understand, more fully, what that lipstick could have led me into, and what it could have kept me from.

For now, though? I am thankful for that “check engine light.” I am thankful I didn’t get my way, no matter how much I argued or begged.

I am thankful that HE is moving in HIS Will.

As I apply a shade of lipstick called, “Honolulu is Calling.”

Sounds more Paradise/Life-y than Black Death, right?

Isn’t that the point?

Copyright © 2025 by Sheryle Cruse